Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
News article and Live chat
A large news article interviewing us (staff at Impulse Treatment Center) about Sex Addiction today in the San Jose Mercury News, the Oakland Tribune and the Contra Costa Times. Join us for a Live Chat at WWW.contracostatimes.com tomorrow Thursday at 12:30 to 1:30 pm online.
http://www.mercurynews.com/top-stories/ci_14824644?nclick_check=1
http://www.mercurynews.com/top-stories/ci_14824644?nclick_check=1
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
The Hoopla w/Tiger and Sex Addiction
It seems everyone has an opinion about Tiger Woods and Sex Addiction. Yes, Tiger is a huge celebrity. Jesse James too. But why is this hoopla soooo big? Opinions are everywhere...usually very simplistic. "Sex Addiction is just a copout" "Sex can't be an addiction. It's just about bad choices" "Guys are Guys what do you expect" Nothing really about Tiger. It's called projection.
We project all the time. It's human. When we don't have enough information. When we're emotional....we guess about the other person. The more adament we are the more likely we're projecting our 'shadow' on to the other. Prejudice is made up of two ingredients fear and lack of knowledge. Tiger is the perfect projection object. We think we know him because we've seen him so much. And we know men who "play' around. But do we???
Being simplistic helps us to deal with anxiety....of not knowing. Have you ever noticed how many times during an arguement people seemed to know so many more exact details about some point of conflict. "I know and you don't" Later when we calm down we 'may' acknowledge that we overstated our position (some characterlogical challenged people never do this). Acting as if we 'know' feels so much better.
Woman who have been cheated on often project Tiger and his ilk cannot change. "Men are just like that." What about the 'sports' and men's room chats or newshows. "Sex can't be an addiction." Could it be that alot of men don't like 'Sex Addiction' as a diagnosis because some of the diagnosis is close to home. Sex addiction looks at men's sexual behavior closely and points out some destructive possibilities. Many men don't like the diagnosis of Sex Addiction.
And what about the some Sex Therapists who are adament that sex can't be an addiction. 'Adament' is quite different than 'being open to explore' like a good scientist. Science is starting to find more supportive evidence in favor of the concept of sex addiction (see the Journal of Compulsive and Addictive Behaviors Sage Press). It's still early. For now, I'm convinced by how many men report that their lives are better being in recovery for sex addiction. Help they didn't get from previous therapists.
I stay away from the Hoopla and all the projection.
We project all the time. It's human. When we don't have enough information. When we're emotional....we guess about the other person. The more adament we are the more likely we're projecting our 'shadow' on to the other. Prejudice is made up of two ingredients fear and lack of knowledge. Tiger is the perfect projection object. We think we know him because we've seen him so much. And we know men who "play' around. But do we???
Being simplistic helps us to deal with anxiety....of not knowing. Have you ever noticed how many times during an arguement people seemed to know so many more exact details about some point of conflict. "I know and you don't" Later when we calm down we 'may' acknowledge that we overstated our position (some characterlogical challenged people never do this). Acting as if we 'know' feels so much better.
Woman who have been cheated on often project Tiger and his ilk cannot change. "Men are just like that." What about the 'sports' and men's room chats or newshows. "Sex can't be an addiction." Could it be that alot of men don't like 'Sex Addiction' as a diagnosis because some of the diagnosis is close to home. Sex addiction looks at men's sexual behavior closely and points out some destructive possibilities. Many men don't like the diagnosis of Sex Addiction.
And what about the some Sex Therapists who are adament that sex can't be an addiction. 'Adament' is quite different than 'being open to explore' like a good scientist. Science is starting to find more supportive evidence in favor of the concept of sex addiction (see the Journal of Compulsive and Addictive Behaviors Sage Press). It's still early. For now, I'm convinced by how many men report that their lives are better being in recovery for sex addiction. Help they didn't get from previous therapists.
I stay away from the Hoopla and all the projection.
Sex Addiction Treatment and Issues
Good Article from South Africa
"Sex addiction is an illness that is experienced worldwide by men and women from different backgrounds and cultures. When a person is a sex addict, they suffer from a (problem) capable of destroying the lives of not only the sufferer but of their families as well.
Sex addiction can be managed with a recovery programme and therapy but whilst in the grips of this addiction, sufferers cannot escape their obsessive and compulsive behaviour. Often sex addiction is experienced with other addictive behaviours such as drug use and eating disorders. They are all behaviours of the same disease of addiction. Similar to other addictions such as drug addiction and alcohol addiction, sex addiction is based on obsessive and compulsive needs.
The behaviour of a sex addict can include repeated empty affairs, compulsive masturbation, frequent use of prostitutes and other sex services and in extreme cases can even progress to exhibitionism, voyeurism, child molestation and rape. Sex addicts however are not bad people. Their condition is not a moral failing: It is a spiritual unrest.
Why is Sex Addiction So Destructive?In some Twelve Step fellowship support groups, ‘bottom line behaviour’ is identified. Bottom line behaviour is a term used to define the specific sex addict’s behaviours which they act out on. Most sex addicts experience ‘intrigue’ which is the mental preoccupation with sexual acts. Objectifying people, constant obsession with sexual acts, flirting and generally spending much time with the preoccupation of sex is the mental state of a sex addict. These obsessions are then followed by the compulsive acting out on sexual behaviours. Sex addiction is progressive (I don't agree that it's necessarily progressive). It may begin with compulsive masturbation and an affinity for pornography which then develops into a serious problem involving the use of prostitutes, money troubles, families being broken up and unemployment, further to which suicide can be a consequence. When sex addiction has progressed to a severe level, the sex addict is unable to resist the impulse to act out on their sexual behaviours. They become more involved with the behaviours for longer periods of time, with greater intensity and violence to have the desired effect, resulting in their responsibilities being neglected. Without being able to fulfil their obsession and act out on the behaviour, they become irritable, restless and angry. Despite the desire to abstain and stop the sexual compulsivity because their lives are beginning to crumble, they are unable to do so. They are powerless over their sexual addiction and their lives begin to become completely unmanageable.
TreatmentSex addiction is treatable, but incurable. Yet with therapy, abstinence from the disordered sexual behaviours and maintaining a programme of recovery on a daily basis, a sex addict can regain a normal life again. Inpatient treatment in a counselling centre can be extremely beneficial to a sex addict seeking help for their problem. Many sex addicts will be in a state of denial about their problem but once they have admitted that they have a problem, they can begin the healing recovery process. Inpatient treatment will usually provide group therapy and individual therapy which have been found to be the most successful methods of dealing with sex addiction. Treatment facilities are a safe place for sex addicts to recover where they can process their condition with experienced and understanding people. They need never be alone in their struggle again. Whilst in a rehabilitation centre, a sex addict will need to begin working a daily programme of recovery, such as the Twelve Steps. There are fellowships which are devoted to helping sex addicts receive support and help in their behaviour.
For a sex addict to be abstinent from the behaviour does not mean that they must stay celibate for the rest of their life – it is a normal human behaviour to engage in sexual acts, just not ones which begin to destroy their lives and keep them in a terrible cycle of shame and self loathing. A sex addict who turns to celibacy as a way of dealing with the problem is not addressing the root cause – similar to a ‘dry drunk’.
With proper treatment and therapy, coupled with a programme of recovery, a sex addict can begin to lead a happy and normal life again. A recovery programme will keep a sex addict aware of their behaviours and dangerous situations which may lead to relapse and will teach them tools to cope with daily life.
Oasis Counselling Centre is a rehabilitation centre in Plettenberg Bay, South Africa
"Sex addiction is an illness that is experienced worldwide by men and women from different backgrounds and cultures. When a person is a sex addict, they suffer from a (problem) capable of destroying the lives of not only the sufferer but of their families as well.
Sex addiction can be managed with a recovery programme and therapy but whilst in the grips of this addiction, sufferers cannot escape their obsessive and compulsive behaviour. Often sex addiction is experienced with other addictive behaviours such as drug use and eating disorders. They are all behaviours of the same disease of addiction. Similar to other addictions such as drug addiction and alcohol addiction, sex addiction is based on obsessive and compulsive needs.
The behaviour of a sex addict can include repeated empty affairs, compulsive masturbation, frequent use of prostitutes and other sex services and in extreme cases can even progress to exhibitionism, voyeurism, child molestation and rape. Sex addicts however are not bad people. Their condition is not a moral failing: It is a spiritual unrest.
Why is Sex Addiction So Destructive?In some Twelve Step fellowship support groups, ‘bottom line behaviour’ is identified. Bottom line behaviour is a term used to define the specific sex addict’s behaviours which they act out on. Most sex addicts experience ‘intrigue’ which is the mental preoccupation with sexual acts. Objectifying people, constant obsession with sexual acts, flirting and generally spending much time with the preoccupation of sex is the mental state of a sex addict. These obsessions are then followed by the compulsive acting out on sexual behaviours. Sex addiction is progressive (I don't agree that it's necessarily progressive). It may begin with compulsive masturbation and an affinity for pornography which then develops into a serious problem involving the use of prostitutes, money troubles, families being broken up and unemployment, further to which suicide can be a consequence. When sex addiction has progressed to a severe level, the sex addict is unable to resist the impulse to act out on their sexual behaviours. They become more involved with the behaviours for longer periods of time, with greater intensity and violence to have the desired effect, resulting in their responsibilities being neglected. Without being able to fulfil their obsession and act out on the behaviour, they become irritable, restless and angry. Despite the desire to abstain and stop the sexual compulsivity because their lives are beginning to crumble, they are unable to do so. They are powerless over their sexual addiction and their lives begin to become completely unmanageable.
TreatmentSex addiction is treatable, but incurable. Yet with therapy, abstinence from the disordered sexual behaviours and maintaining a programme of recovery on a daily basis, a sex addict can regain a normal life again. Inpatient treatment in a counselling centre can be extremely beneficial to a sex addict seeking help for their problem. Many sex addicts will be in a state of denial about their problem but once they have admitted that they have a problem, they can begin the healing recovery process. Inpatient treatment will usually provide group therapy and individual therapy which have been found to be the most successful methods of dealing with sex addiction. Treatment facilities are a safe place for sex addicts to recover where they can process their condition with experienced and understanding people. They need never be alone in their struggle again. Whilst in a rehabilitation centre, a sex addict will need to begin working a daily programme of recovery, such as the Twelve Steps. There are fellowships which are devoted to helping sex addicts receive support and help in their behaviour.
For a sex addict to be abstinent from the behaviour does not mean that they must stay celibate for the rest of their life – it is a normal human behaviour to engage in sexual acts, just not ones which begin to destroy their lives and keep them in a terrible cycle of shame and self loathing. A sex addict who turns to celibacy as a way of dealing with the problem is not addressing the root cause – similar to a ‘dry drunk’.
With proper treatment and therapy, coupled with a programme of recovery, a sex addict can begin to lead a happy and normal life again. A recovery programme will keep a sex addict aware of their behaviours and dangerous situations which may lead to relapse and will teach them tools to cope with daily life.
Oasis Counselling Centre is a rehabilitation centre in Plettenberg Bay, South Africa
Monday, April 5, 2010
Tiger Woods in Recovery
A thing of beauty....a long, shot off the tee that takes the breath away of the gallery. We witnessed another kind of beauty today from Tiger. His recovery in action. As he stated "My fun is back" in life and golf. He's 'centered' in his 'real self' where meaning, honesty, values and aliveness converge. You can't fake this for long. Tiger's countenance was consistent with a man who has rediscovered himself....his deep self. Tiger's back!!! He's a passionate man with deep good men (not like before) surrounding him. Tigers in the "zone". He's not fighting himself like he was before November 2009. He was moving away from everything of meaning of real value in his life. Listen to todays interview. I did and felt a kind of joy. Of course he can slip again but he knows that and is preparing himself for the temptations out there.
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