Sex Addiction has been called by many experts (myself included) as an intimacy disorder. Interestingly 'sex addicts' are probably more sensitive to others feelings and often considered 'nice guys' (well liked).....so how can this group have an intimacy disorder? Sex addicts have two major problems areas. The 1st area is having a sex addiction itself. Sex addiction is, like all addictions, ways to 'check out' emotionally. Partners often feel disconnected. "What's in his head" they often ask. Addicts have a history of being raised to look good and be good.....not to be real about emotions or behaviors. Addicts learn to take care of their own emotional needs because deep down they have shame/guilt pockets in their personalities. Sex feels good and is intense enough to sooth these feelings. Ironically sex for a sex addict is easier to do if one is not too close emotionally (like a partner or spouse).
Secrets are the second area of intimacy damage.... especially when they have a major negative impact on one's partner. Trust is undermined . Without trust sustained intimacy is impossible. Addicts need practice in intimacy which is why group therapy or 12 step is the prefered treatment. Sex addicts need sobriety and honesty....and they can't do intimacy without others
Thursday, November 5, 2009
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