It seems everyone has an opinion about Tiger Woods and Sex Addiction. Yes, Tiger is a huge celebrity. Jesse James too. But why is this hoopla soooo big? Opinions are everywhere...usually very simplistic. "Sex Addiction is just a copout" "Sex can't be an addiction. It's just about bad choices" "Guys are Guys what do you expect" Nothing really about Tiger. It's called projection.
We project all the time. It's human. When we don't have enough information. When we're emotional....we guess about the other person. The more adament we are the more likely we're projecting our 'shadow' on to the other. Prejudice is made up of two ingredients fear and lack of knowledge. Tiger is the perfect projection object. We think we know him because we've seen him so much. And we know men who "play' around. But do we???
Being simplistic helps us to deal with anxiety....of not knowing. Have you ever noticed how many times during an arguement people seemed to know so many more exact details about some point of conflict. "I know and you don't" Later when we calm down we 'may' acknowledge that we overstated our position (some characterlogical challenged people never do this). Acting as if we 'know' feels so much better.
Woman who have been cheated on often project Tiger and his ilk cannot change. "Men are just like that." What about the 'sports' and men's room chats or newshows. "Sex can't be an addiction." Could it be that alot of men don't like 'Sex Addiction' as a diagnosis because some of the diagnosis is close to home. Sex addiction looks at men's sexual behavior closely and points out some destructive possibilities. Many men don't like the diagnosis of Sex Addiction.
And what about the some Sex Therapists who are adament that sex can't be an addiction. 'Adament' is quite different than 'being open to explore' like a good scientist. Science is starting to find more supportive evidence in favor of the concept of sex addiction (see the Journal of Compulsive and Addictive Behaviors Sage Press). It's still early. For now, I'm convinced by how many men report that their lives are better being in recovery for sex addiction. Help they didn't get from previous therapists.
I stay away from the Hoopla and all the projection.
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